


i'll still feel you here (till the moment i'm gone)

by pinkfingernails



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: BUT ALSO HAPPY, F/F, Fluff and Angst, One Shot, Sad Ending, im sorry its sad, josie is dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-14 05:16:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29787021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkfingernails/pseuds/pinkfingernails
Summary: "Shit!" Hope exclaims, lifting her foot up tenderly and looking confused at the colorful bricks that lie in the middle of the hallway. Legos?"Hope? Is that you?" she heard a voice call from the kitchen. Hope kicked the Legos to the side of the hallway and continued to the kitchen, the puzzled look on her face falling away when she entered the room.Josie stood in the middle of the kitchen, an apron tied around her waist and her hair tied up in a ponytail, tendrils of her brown locks falling on her forehead, framing her face."Jo."
Relationships: Hope Mikaelson/Josie Saltzman
Comments: 18
Kudos: 105





	i'll still feel you here (till the moment i'm gone)

**Author's Note:**

> hiii i kNOW i need to update my summer camp fic but this popped into my head and i honestly really like it,, it's kinda sad but i hope you like it! also the title is from the some Gravity by Sara Bareilles

It had been five days since Josie Saltzman had died. Five days since Hope had barely left her room, barely eaten, barely slept. The most talking she'd done was to MG, who, without fail, had been leaving meals outside of her room every day, only for them to go bad overnight. 

The funeral had been earlier in the week, the whole school was in attendance. Except for Hope.

The auburn-haired girl had spent that day in her dorm, as usual, talking to her aunt Freya on the phone, eyes void of tears. Hope hadn't let herself cry.

"You can't just escape from grief," Aunt Freya told Hope over the phone. "This won't stop you from healing. It won't... change what happened."

"I can't go through this again," Hope told her aunt. "I want to do this."

Hope could tell her aunt was thinking even though there was so much distance between them. No one had used the therapy box since last year when Hope went in there by herself. Even then she had been planning on not leaving. Freya was worried her niece would get too attached.

"Please," Hope says simply. "I won't be in there forever there are just... _things_ I need to do." Hope takes a moment before continuing. "Before I lose her forever."

Hope hears her aunt sigh on the other side of the phone. "Okay," she says after a moment of thinking. "I'll do it."

\---

Hope wasn't an idiot. She knew that whatever happened in that therapy box wasn't real, just a reflection of her subconscious, but it was better than nothing.

Freya arrived in Mystic Falls the day after the phone call. Hope had organized her room comfortably and lied down on her bed while Freya prepared the box. She'd lit an absurd amount of candles that Hope worried would burn her dorm down.

Freya glanced at Hope for the last time, a concerned look in her eyes, before taking one of Hope's hands in her own.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" she asked simply. Hope only nodded and took a deep breath, closing her eyes.

"You can stay as long as you want," Freya explained. "A day in the therapy box is the same as a minute in the real world. But remember," she took a moment before continuing, "everything that occurs in there is only a manifestation of your subconscious. The things that happen won't be... real."

"I've been inside before," Hope snapped at her aunt. "I'm ready."

The next thing she knew, Hope couldn't hear Freya talking anymore. She'd seen a bright light flash, bright enough that she could tell it happened behind her eyelids. She'd felt like there was a weight lifted off of her chest, like the darkness she'd been feeling for the past five days was gone. Hope moved her fingers, no longer feeling the soft sheets of her bed, but the roughness of a stone floor. She opened her eyes. 

It took her no time at all to register her surroundings, she was back in her old house in New Orleans. Hope sat up, her head feeling lighter than it had in days. Her stomach suddenly growled as she smelled something cooking nearby. Hope couldn't tell if her senses were tightened here, or it was a result of being stuck up in her room for the past week.

Hope stood up and was hit with a wave of nostalgia. There was something about New Orleans that she always missed when she left. Maybe it was the smell of her old house or the feeling of being in the place where her parents and aunts and uncles once lived. Whatever it was, Hope felt happy to be back. It felt like home here.

\---

Hope walked further into the mansion, following the scent of food she smelled all the way from the courtyard. She could see the soft glow of the kitchen from the end of the hallway, and could hear a quiet hum coming from the open door.

All the portraits of Hope's family still hung proudly on the walls, and it was when she was observing these that she felt something sharp jab into her foot.

"Shit!" she exclaimed, lifting her foot up tenderly and looking confused at the colorful bricks that lie in the middle of the hallway. Legos?

"Hope? Is that you?" she heard a voice call from the kitchen. Hope kicked the Legos to the side of the hallway and continued to the kitchen, the puzzled look on her face falling away when she entered the room.

Josie stood in the middle of the kitchen, an apron tied around her waist and her hair tied up in a ponytail, tendrils of her brown locks falling on her forehead, framing her face.

"Jo," Hope said softly, a soft smile tugging at her lips while tears threatened to fall from her eyes. Hope still chokes her tears back, not wanting to freak Josie out by crying.

She moved towards the brunette quickly, enveloping her in a hug before Josie could even get a word out. 

"Did it really hurt that bad?" Josie asked, confused. "I told them to clean up their mess after they were done playing."

Hope shook her head and pulled away from Josie, laughing. "I'm just... I'm really happy to see you, Jo. I'm glad you're okay."

"Why would I not be?" Josie asked with a giggle. "You were only out for an hour. How is Freya, by the way? Did you tell her I said hello? Did she say she could make it tonight?"

"Tonight? What's happening tonight?" Hope looks at Josie's face, stumped. She then takes a look around the kitchen, seeing the room is decorated with streamers and balloons and a "happy birthday" banner. 

"Hope the twins have been planning this party for months, don't tell me you forgot to invite Freya. Jo would be devastated if Nik didn't show up." Josie smiles and giving Hope a quick kiss on the top of her head before turning back to the kitchen counter, continuing to mix a bowl of something. Warmth spread from the place Josie's lips touched on Hope's head to her toes, and she remembered why she'd wanted to be here in the first place. 

_Who's Jo?_

"Of course I didn't forget the party," Hope said with a laugh, sitting down at the kitchen table. You'd think if it was her subconscious, she'd know what was going on. "But remind me of the plans again?"

Josie turns to look at Hope, lips turned down into a pout. "Are you feeling okay?" Josie asks, leaning down and pressing her lips to Hope's forehead. Hope doesn't think she'd ever get used to the feeling of Josie's lips on her skin. Just that quick peck sent a shiver down Hope's spine. "You're acting strange."

Hope opens her mouth to say something when two kids come running into the kitchen.

"Mommy!" they both exclaim, practically running into Hope. 

If the two kids notice Hope's confusion, they don't say anything, just take a place on Hope's lap, wrapping their arms around her waist and neck. Hope glances at Josie, who smiles softly and returns to her cooking.

"Is Nik coming tonight?" the little girl asks, and Hope notices her gap-toothed smile.

"What about Aunt Bekah?" the little boy asks excitedly. "She said she was getting me a big present this year!"

_Aunt Bekah_. _Jo_. The little girl's name is Jo. 

"I got a call from your aunt earlier, Eli," Josie says, wiping her hands on her apron and picking up the small boy in her arms. "She and Uncle Marcel will both be here later!" 

_Eli_. Hope realizes she hasn't spoken for a long time, but what is she supposed to say?

"Is Mommy okay?" the little girl asks, climbing onto Hope's lap. 

"Mommy is probably upset with you for leaving your toys all over the hallway!" Josie says quickly. "Why don't you go clean them up and clean your rooms. Your cousins will be here soon!"

Josie sets the little boy down on the floor and he and his sister run quickly out of the kitchen, laughing and yelling all the way down the hallway.

Josie looks at Hope suspiciously. "Are you sure you're okay, my love?" Josie asks, taking off her apron and moving to sit on Hope's lap.

Hope's breath gets caught in her throat at having Josie so close to her. In the real world, this would have never happened. Hope tries to push that thought out of her mind. 

"I'm okay I'm just... a little disoriented is all. Who's all coming tonight?"

Josie's confusion isn't fully settled, but she relaxes on Hope's lap a bit. "My sister and MG, Davina and Kol, Rebekah and Marcel, my dad, Keelin and Freya," Josie stops listing, and frowns "We talked about this earlier today, did you already forget?" 

"Big family," Hope says, laughing, and then stops, studying Josie's face closely. 

"What?" Josie says, concerned.

Tears sting Hope's eyes again and she squeezes them shut, resting her forehead against Josie's. "I'm just really happy to see you, Jo," she says.

Josie lifts Hope's chin up and forces her to meet her gaze. "I'm happy to see you too, love," Josie says with a smile. "I always am!"

"I just... don't ever want anything bad to happen to you," Hope says, making Josie frown again. Hope wishes she hadn't said anything and opens her mouth to say something else, but is met with Josie's lips instead, pressing against her's fervently. 

"Nothing ever will," Josie whispers against Hope's lips. "Not today, of all days." With that, Josie kisses Hope again quickly and stands up. "Now _you_ need to stop worrying and _I_ need to finish this cake! Jo requested it'd be homemade."

Hope smiles and exhales deeply when Josie turns around.

"Why don't you clean that studio of yours," Josie suggests. "I thought maybe you could teach Eli to paint with that art set you got him. I'm sure he'll be excited to see it."

"Right," Hope says, still not believing all of this is happening. How is she supposed to go home after this? This Josie is alive, her sister is alive, she and Jo have a life together. Maybe Freya was right to be worried. 

Hope leaves the kitchen quietly and walks towards the room that her father used to use as a painting studio. She wonders if, in this world, it's still being used. In the real world, Hope hasn't been able to paint since her father died. 

Hope pushes the door open and the smell of paint hits her, taking her back to a happier time. The walls are covered in art; some pieces finished, some half-done, some not even started, just sketches done on scrap pieces of paper. Most of them are of Josie. Her likeness captured perfectly over and over, preserving her smile in time.

In the middle of the room sits an easel, covered in a white sheet, right in front of a window that overlooks downtown New Orleans. 

Hope lifts the sheet off of the easel, revealing the painting underneath. It's almost finished, just some finishing touches that Hope is sure the Hope in this world had been fussing over for hours. It's a portrait of her, Josie, and the twins, Jo and Eli. They're happy. Hope wonders if they're always this happy in this world. If _she's_ always this happy.

Hope runs a finger over the painting, tracing over the happy family with her finger delicately. Of course this is where her subconscious takes her. She and Josie are _happy_ , they have _kids,_ something Hope never even thought about before this. The Merge doesn't exist here, she'll never have to go through the pain of losing one of them.

Hope haphazardly picks up a brush and squeezes out globs of paint from the tubes sitting on a table near the easel. She moves back to stand in front of the painting before dipping her brush into the paint, stroking it lightly onto the canvas. 

She'd forgotten how freeing it was. What it felt like to indulge in the activity she'd shared with her father. She'd always felt like whenever she painted, no matter where her father was, he was with her.

\---

Hours could have passed without Hope realizing. She was eventually knocked out of her trance by a knock at the door, causing her to snap her head up and look at the painting in front of her.

"It's perfect," the voice at the door says, and Hope turns to see Josie walking into the room. She's changed out of her apron into jeans and a plain t-shirt, something she's never seen Josie wear. She's grown out of the knee-high socks and high heels she once wore. 

Josie steps behind Hope and wraps her arms around her waist as the auburn-haired girl turns back to her painting, examining it.

"You think it's finished?" Hope asks turning her head slightly to look at Josie. Josie just nods and settles her head on Hope's shoulder.

"I love it," the taller girl says quietly, kissing Hope's cheek gently. "But you should get cleaned up. My sister will be here soon and you know how she is." Josie let out a soft laugh, breathing onto Hope's neck.

Hope closed her eyes for a moment before looking down at herself, not even realizing she'd gotten covered in paint. 

"I don't want to go yet," Hope says softly. "Can we stay here for a second?"

Josie must open her mouth to respond but stay silent instead, leaving a kiss on Hope's shoulder instead. The two stay in silence for a moment, Josie holding onto Hope happily and Hope reveling being held by Josie while she can. The doorbell ringing is what eventually forces them to pull apart.

"Go get changed, love," Josie says. "I'll see you downstairs." 

\---

Hope and Josie's bedroom was a couple of doors down from Hope's childhood bedroom, which had been converted into a guest room. 

Hope and Josie's room felt foreign to Hope. The version of her in this world spent every night in here, but Hope had never step foot in there before. There was a huge portrait of Eli and Jo hanging on the wall that Hope presumed she'd painted, along with pictures of her and Josie and the kids sitting in frames around the room. On one of the nightstands there was picture of Hope's parents next to a picture of Josie from when they were young. She was wearing her Salvatore uniform and has her head thrown back, laughing. Hope smiles at the picture and picks it up, admiring it one more time before placing it back down on the nightstand.

Hope and Josie's closet is filled with clothes Hope doesn't recognize, but she picks a plain enough t-shirt and replaces her paint-covered one.

Hope looks at herself in the mirror. She looks older, happier. Definitely not the Hope that hasn't brushed her hair or changed her clothes in five days. It kind of freaks her out.

Hope leaves the room quickly, peeking over the banister into the courtyard downstairs, seeing her family standing around happily. Little Jo has run off with Nik, Keelin and Freya's son, and Eli is sitting on Marcel's shoulders, a smile on his face stretching from ear to ear. A smile starts to creep onto Hope's face, too; she hasn't seen all of her family together like this in God knows how long. 

Hope descends the stairs slowly and hesitantly, not knowing how her family was going to act around this version of her. She's enveloped in so many hugs that feel foreign but strangely comfortable, but she doesn't complain or push anyone away. 

"Look at you," Marcel says when he pulls away from Hope, holding onto her shoulders. "You're so old."

His comment makes Hope want to cry. In her world, she hasn't seen Marcel in years.

"Not your little artist anymore, huh?" Rebekah asks, pulling Hope into another hug. "How are you, love?"

"Good," Hope says with a smile, suddenly feeling somewhat overwhelmed. Thankfully, Josie has walked up to stand next to her, intertwining their fingers, grounding Hope.

"Dinner and cake is in the dining room if you're all ready!" she says happily, and Hope's apprehension washes away. 

\---

In her world, Hope hasn't had a family dinner like this since her parents died. But here, she isn't reminded of what she's lost. she sits with Josie at her side, drawing little circles on her knee with her finger and holding her hand tightly whenever she senses Hope is getting nervous. How she always knows what Hope is feeling, she'll never know.

When the dinner and dessert is done and all the family is gone, Hope clears the table while Josie puts the twins to bed. She can hear Josie's voice and the twins' muted giggles from down the hall until they go silent, and Josie walks back into the room quietly.

"See?" Josie begins, walking closer to Hope until Hope is forced to wrap her arms around Josie's waist as Josie's hands rest on Hope's neck. "It went off without a hitch! I don't know what you were so worried about."

"I guess I just wanted it to be perfect," Hope replies. The two of them sway back and forth in the dining room, Josie humming silently, until Hope begins to yawn and they decide to head to bed.

\---

Josie slips under the covers of her side of the bed comfortably, while Hope is more hesitant. As mature as she's acting in this world, she's still just a teenager with a crush.

Hope's nerves are calmed when Josie curls up into her side, falling asleep quickly. Hope stays awake, running her fingers up and down Josie's arm softly until she sees a glowing word across the room, signaling it's her time to leave. 

_Laetus_. 

Hope glances at Josie sleeping, taking in the sight of her at her most relaxed state one more time, chest rising and falling with her breathing, before whispering the word quietly, as to not wake the brunette.

\---

Hope shoots up from her bed, surrounded by her dorm room once again.

"Hope?" 

She looks towards the voice, seeing Freya kneeling by her bed, the therapy box in hand. Hope's frantic eyes meet her aunt's.

"You're back," Freya says softly, pulling Hope into a tight hug. 

For the first time in five days, Hope lets herself cry.

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you thought of this! also i made a twitter account,, my name is @ p1nkfingerna1ls so you can follow me on there if you want:)


End file.
